Why Everyong is Drinking Lemon Balm Tea (+ 10 Soothing Recipes to Try!)

A Quiet NIGHTLY TEA Ritual That Changed Everything

If there’s one small ritual I have started this year that’s brought me profound calm, softness, and balance as I navigate the beautiful but often turbulent waters of perimenopause aka my 40’s, it’s brewing myself a cup of lemon balm tea.

I stumbled upon this gentle herb a few years ago while looking for natural ways to soothe my frazzled nerves and find moments of true rest in the middle of life’s chaos.

I had no idea that this simple, fragrant plant — often overlooked in the garden — would become one of my most beloved tools for staying grounded, feeling feminine, and supporting my hormonal shifts naturally.

Fun fact, I now walk around this Lemon Balm extract in my purse, just a dab under the tongue instantly brings a sense of calm.

Today, I want to share exactly why lemon balm tea is so special, how it supports us as women (especially in our 30s, 40s, and beyond), and how you can weave it into your daily self-care rituals to nurture your nervous system, balance your mood, and invite more oxytocin — that sweet “love hormone” — into your body and your life.

What is Lemon Balm and Why Does It Feel Like a Hug in a Cup?

Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) is a gentle herb in the mint family with a lovely, subtle lemony scent. It’s been used for centuries in traditional herbal medicine as a calming tonic for the mind, a gentle digestive aid, and a beautiful supporter of restful sleep.

For me, it feels like an herbal embrace — a moment of peace that melts tension and invites my body back into its soft, feminine state. When life feels hectic or hormones feel unsteady, sipping lemon balm tea helps me come home to myself.

🍵 The 6 Beautiful Benefits of Drinking Lemon Balm Tea

Sipping a warm cup of lemon balm tea is like wrapping your nervous system in a gentle hug. This unassuming herb — Melissa officinalis — has been cherished for centuries for its soothing, mood-lifting, and heart-lightening properties. Here’s why it’s so wonderful to keep in your daily routine:

✨ 1. Naturally Calms the Mind & Eases Stress
Lemon balm is well-loved for its mild sedative effects. Drinking the tea can help quiet racing thoughts and bring a peaceful pause to an overwhelmed mind. Many people enjoy a cup in the afternoon or evening to unwind after a busy day.

✨ 2. Supports Deeper, Restorative Sleep
Because it helps relax the nervous system, lemon balm tea can gently prepare your body for rest. It’s a beautiful bedtime ritual if you’re someone who struggles to fall asleep or wakes up feeling restless during the night.

✨ 3. Aids Healthy Digestion
Traditionally, herbalists have turned to lemon balm to soothe occasional digestive discomfort. It can help ease bloating, mild cramps, or that “nervous stomach” feeling that sometimes comes with stress.

✨ 4. Uplifts the Mood
One of my favorite things about lemon balm is how it seems to lift a low mood without being overly stimulating. A cup can feel like a natural boost of sunshine on days when you need a little extra emotional support.

✨ 5. Balances & Nourishes the Nervous System
Regularly drinking lemon balm tea is a gentle way to support your body’s resilience to stress. It helps calm the body’s fight-or-flight response and brings you back to your natural state of ease and flow.

✨ 6. Deliciously Simple Self-Care
Beyond its herbal magic, brewing lemon balm tea invites you to slow down, sit with yourself, and remember that tending to your inner calm is a form of everyday self-love. It’s an easy ritual that reminds you to prioritize moments of softness and stillness in your day.

Tip: Fresh or dried leaves both work well — just steep for about 5–10 minutes and inhale that delicate, lemony aroma as you sip. I love adding a spoonful of lemon balm honey or pairing it with other calming herbs like chamomile, lavender, or mint.

Related Reading: How to do a proper tea ritual

How I Use Lemon Balm Tea in My Daily Life

My ritual is simple but deeply nourishing:

• I keep dried organic lemon balm in a pretty glass jar near my kettle.

• In the late afternoon — when my energy dips and stress peaks — I brew a pot of tea and step away from my screens.

• I pour it into my favorite mug and take ten slow minutes to savor the warmth, inhale the citrusy aroma, and just be.

This simple pause helps regulate my nervous system, lowers cortisol, and reminds my body it’s safe to relax and receive.

{ click here to shop my lemon balm tea essentials }

10 Calming & Soothing Lemon Balm Recipes You’ll Love

1️⃣ Fresh Lemon Balm Lemonade — The Herbal Academy
This simple recipe shows you how to use fresh lemon balm leaves to make a delicate, uplifting lemonade. Perfect for beginners, it’s a gentle way to enjoy lemon balm’s calming effects in their purest form.

2️⃣ Lemon Balm Iced Tea — Tidbits & Co
Cool off while calming your nerves with this refreshing iced version. It’s lightly sweet and incredibly soothing — wonderful for hot days when you want to sip something that reduces tension and lifts your mood.

3️⃣ Lemon Balm & Coconut tea — Homestead Challenge
Infuse coconut with lemon balm to create a sweet, herbaceous treat. It’s a lovely way to boost relaxation and sneak lemon balm’s benefits into your day.

4️⃣ Honey Lemon Balm Spritzer — She wears may hats
A fun twist on classic lemonade, this herbal version combines fresh lemon balm with zesty citrus for a cooling drink that soothes anxiety and feels like sunshine in a glass.

5️⃣ Lemon Balm and Chamomile Sleep Tea — The Good Life
Pair lemon balm with gentle chamomile for a dreamy bedtime blend. Sip this before bed to quiet your thoughts and invite deep, restorative sleep.

6️⃣ Lemon Balm Detox Drink for weight loss — Recipe Master
This is perfect to sip in the evenings and curb the bedtime cravings. It’s also a delicious way to enjoy lemon balm’s relaxing AND detoxifying properties.

7️⃣ Lemon Balm & Mint Herbal Popsicles — Edible Wild Food
Cool, calming, and kid-friendly, these herbal popsicles combine lemon balm and mint for a soothing treat on warm days. They’re a fun way to help the whole family unwind.

8️⃣ Lemon Balm Salve— Food For Life Garden
This helps to calm digestion, ease tension, and support your immune system — a staple in traditional herbal pantries.

9️⃣ Lemon Balm Tincture — Food For Life
Learn how to make your own tincture — a concentrated extract you can keep on hand for quick stress relief. A few drops under the tongue can help you stay calm and centered during busy days.

🔟 Lemon Balm Infused Oil for Calming Skincare — Hawk Homestead
Lemon balm isn’t just for sipping — you can infuse it in oil to make a gentle skincare remedy that soothes irritated skin and promotes a sense of calm when massaged in.

Hope you enjoyed this post!

You may also like:

How to do a proper tea ritual ceremony at home

7 rituals of a Soul Aligned Woman

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The Ultimate Guide to Letting Go of People-Pleasing + 5 Best Books To Help Support You

Getting nervous about spending the holidays around too many people? Not to worry, this post was written to help support you in being more confident and drop the tendency to go into people pleasing mode this season.

For many women, the urge to please others can run deep, often tied to a desire to be seen as loving, kind, and considerate. While these are beautiful qualities, they can sometimes blur the lines between being genuinely caring and losing oneself in the needs of others.

Letting go of people-pleasing doesn’t mean sacrificing your femininity or warmth; rather, it’s about redefining it in a way that allows you to flourish authentically.

Here’s how to embrace a more intentional, balanced approach that nurtures both yourself and those around you:

1. Understand the Roots of People-Pleasing

The first step in breaking free from people-pleasing is understanding why you do it. Often, people-pleasing can stem from childhood experiences, societal expectations, or simply the habit of prioritizing others' needs. Reflect on moments when you felt the need to make others happy, and ask yourself: What was I hoping to gain? Maybe it was validation, love, or acceptance. Becoming aware of these motivations allows you to reclaim control and shift towards healthier ways of meeting these needs.

2. Embrace Boundaries as a Form of Self-Respect

Setting boundaries is one of the most powerful acts of self-love and self-respect. It’s also essential for maintaining healthy, balanced relationships. Start with small boundaries that feel manageable, like not answering work emails after a certain time or saying no to requests that don’t align with your priorities.

Remember, boundaries are not barriers to love; they are frameworks that protect it. When others know what to expect, relationships become more honest and fulfilling, and your generosity becomes a true choice rather than an obligation.

3. Redefine What It Means to Be “Loving”

Being loving doesn’t require self-sacrifice. In fact, it’s often quite the opposite. When you show up authentically, without the need to overextend yourself, you create an environment where people feel comfortable doing the same. True love and care stem from a place of fullness within you, so prioritize filling your own cup first.

A good question to ask yourself before doing something for someone is: Am I doing this out of genuine care, or am I trying to avoid discomfort, disapproval, or rejection? If it’s the latter, that may be a sign that it’s time to choose yourself.

4. Develop a Stronger Sense of Self

People-pleasing often goes hand-in-hand with low self-worth or a lack of clarity about personal values. Cultivating a strong sense of self can help you distinguish between what’s truly important to you and what’s merely driven by external expectations. Spend time journaling, meditating, or exploring creative hobbies to reconnect with yourself and your needs.

When you know who you are and what you want, you can love others from a more centered, balanced place. This makes it easier to stay true to yourself without feeling pressured to conform.

5. Communicate from a Place of Authenticity

Intentional communication is key to transforming people-pleasing tendencies. It’s entirely possible to speak your truth while being warm and respectful. Practice using “I” statements, such as “I feel,” “I need,” or “I prefer,” to express your desires or boundaries. For example, instead of saying, “I’m sorry, I can’t help with that,” try, “I appreciate you asking, but I need to focus on my priorities right now.”

When you communicate openly, people around you will start respecting your boundaries and understanding your needs, all while feeling the sincerity in your approach.

6. Celebrate the Power of Femininity Without Self-Sacrifice

Femininity encompasses qualities like empathy, gentleness, and emotional intelligence—qualities that are powerful in their own right. Rather than tying your femininity to people-pleasing, consider how these attributes can strengthen your ability to assert boundaries and honor yourself. Think of femininity as a soft but resilient power, one that enables you to be present with others while standing in your truth.

Related reading: 25 things to do to help you reconnect with your femininity

7. Practice Saying “No” With Grace

Learning to say “no” is one of the most challenging yet empowering steps in overcoming people-pleasing. Start small, using phrases that feel comfortable but assertive. Try responses like, “I’d love to help, but I need to focus on my responsibilities right now” or “Thank you for thinking of me, but I won’t be able to participate.”

Over time, you’ll feel more comfortable asserting your “no” with kindness and clarity. Saying no isn’t an act of rejection; it’s an affirmation of your own values and boundaries.

8. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Your growth journey can be made easier when surrounded by those who respect and support your choices. Seek out friendships and relationships where honesty and self-expression are encouraged. When you surround yourself with people who celebrate your authenticity, you’ll feel less pressured to compromise it for the sake of approval.

Embracing Your Authentic, Loving Self

Letting go of people-pleasing is a journey that takes patience, but every step leads you closer to a more intentional, fulfilled version of yourself. Remember, you can still be a loving, feminine woman while prioritizing your needs and boundaries. As you release the need to please everyone, you’ll find that the love and energy you share with others comes from a place of fullness, resilience, and authentic warmth—qualities that make you truly magnetic and free.

5 of the best books on breaking the habit of people pleasing

1. "The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome" by Dr. Harriet B. Braiker

• Summary: This classic addresses the psychological roots of people-pleasing and offers actionable strategies to overcome it. Dr. Braiker guides readers through recognizing the internal beliefs that drive people-pleasing and provides exercises to practice assertiveness.

• Why It’s Helpful: The book uses real-life examples and practical exercises, making it both insightful and actionable for breaking free from people-pleasing habits.

2. "Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself" by Nedra Glover Tawwab

• Summary: Tawwab, a licensed therapist, offers a guide to setting healthy boundaries without feeling guilt. This book tackles the fears that often keep people-pleasers from saying “no” and emphasizes that boundaries are essential for meaningful, balanced relationships.

• Why It’s Helpful: With a focus on practical solutions, Tawwab’s advice is straightforward and compassionate, perfect for readers looking to embrace boundaries while remaining kind and empathetic.

3. "Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha" by Tara Brach

• Summary: While not solely about people-pleasing, "Radical Acceptance" dives into the root causes of self-doubt and insecurity, exploring how mindfulness and compassion can help us let go of the need for approval.

• Why It’s Helpful: Brach’s gentle approach to self-acceptance helps people-pleasers develop inner peace and confidence, laying a foundation for authentic interactions and emotional freedom.

4. "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" by Brené Brown

• Summary: Brown explores the ways in which our fear of imperfection fuels people-pleasing tendencies and keeps us from living wholeheartedly. Through research-backed insights, she empowers readers to embrace vulnerability and authenticity.

• Why It’s Helpful: This book encourages people-pleasers to let go of perfectionism and societal expectations, embracing a more grounded and self-compassionate way of living.

5. "Not Nice: Stop People-Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty...And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself" by Dr. Aziz Gazipura

• Summary: Dr. Gazipura’s book dives into why we fear being seen as “not nice” and how to stop letting that fear control our choices. With actionable exercises, it helps readers find their voice and develop assertiveness without sacrificing kindness.

• Why It’s Helpful: This book provides a clear roadmap to assertiveness while recognizing that kindness and authenticity can go hand-in-hand.