Life happens in seasons and cycles. With each approaching season, I feel as though life brings a natural evolution. As hard as we try to hold on to the times when things are good, nothing truly stays the same forever. ( I’ve been noticing this more than ever before with a growing toddler in my world ). When my baby boy reached his first birthday in June, I knew that it was time for me to prioritize my life a little bit better. Time is passing by and I don’t want to miss one cute little moment of his life, while I am focused on my work or even personal goals.
For as long as I can remember, I have been a driven & focused entrepreneur. I love being in a perpetual state of overdrive doing, thinking, creating, accomplishing. I literally love it. One of my favorite things to do is check off the things I accomplish on a list in a notebook. It’s such a satisfying move. Summer was always a time where I could use the longer days to accomplish more and fuel my work. Truth be told, all year long it is counter-intuitive for me to take a break, to wake up and not grab my laptop and get to work. While I love achieving professional goals and focused on business, it doesn’t equate a whole, balanced and full life. I know that it’s only a portion of my vision board. So, in addition to wanting to be more present with my baby, I also know I need to make more time for family life, friendships, travel, creativity, health, etc. I often find myself revising and reviewing my desires for my life with each season . It is so important to re-align with your desires often because our dreams and goals can get stale and outdated which leads to nothing every happening. This Summer, I felt a call to relax, rest and soak up the Summertime fun with my friends and family. In addition to that, out of nowhere, I started waking up with headaches, which I have never had before. Turns out, I grind my teeth in my sleep and carry a tense energy in my jaw and my shoulders. This jaw situation made it glaringly obvious that I needed to make some changes….
I have always been excellent at making sure to prevent burn out for myself but now as a family of three, I’m not taking care of just myself anymore. I have to consider that I am caring for my romantic relationship, our baby, my work and myself (mind, body, soul). It requires time, effort, care, consideration and it can be incredibly exhausting to meet the needs of everything and everyone.
This Summer I decided that I needed to give myself a break. For the Summer, I decided to just let myself ‘be’. I let go of the pressure to work, to create, to accomplish and I had to resist the urge to control and just allow myself to go with the flow. It was a slow progression but For the very first time in over a decade I actually didn’t get up and hustle every day. I rested when I needed it, I stopped answering phone calls, I prioritized wellness and I focused on my little family like my life depended on it. I must say, there was a lot of resistance in that for me, a lot of fear around what happens when you aren’t all over the blog, social media and other outlets all the time. Will people stop reading? Will I be forgotten? Etc. By the time August came around, I had pushed past the fears and I was pretty much completely off the grid.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU NEED A REINVENTION
Self Care is the shit. It’s amazing. It’s totally something I have always known deep down was important. Ever since I was a little girl, I watched the women in my family do everything to keep themselves beautiful and glamorous. What I have come to learn as an adult that self care goes beyond beauty routines, massages, bubble baths and yoga class. It seeps into a deeper part of ourselves that is too often overlooked. Personal Development has always been something I’ve been into, but this Summer I infused personal development ideas into a self care practice so it didn’t feel like work but a flowy, leisurely, fun routine that feels good in order to prepare myself for a focused and fabulous Back-to-School season. When you work on your self, from the inside out…..magic happens.
Declutter your life. Yes, that’s right. I said declutter your life. And I mean really do a deep dive into decluttering everything. You can download my Daily Bliss Toolkit for free to help guide you. The thing is, whenever you feel overwhelmed, distracted, foggy, uninspired, etc it’s most likely that you have a leak in your life. Some either mentally or emotionally draining leak that you are overlooking. It could be anything from eating too much processed food/sugar that your body is exhausted or spending too much time with gossipy co-workers that drains your soul. It is one of my go-to moves for up-leveling to my next chapter in life, the declutter. You can start with your purse. It’s something you come into contact with and have an energetic exchange with every single day. It’s such an important item. Dump everything out. Clean out each pocket. Wipe it down. Clear and clean out your wallet (this is huge for your energy around money). Declutter your emails, your calendar. Your friendships. Your beauty cabinet, makeup bag, pantry, closet. Just keep decluttering things until you begin to feel better. It’s one of my most favorite self care methods.
Set Boundaries. I could write an entire blog post on boundaries. In fact, I totally will put that on my list. This year I up-leveled my boundaries in a big way. I have certain family members who were incredibly draining and low vibe. Being a family oriented person, I was raised to always stick by your family. So rather than draw a boundary, I was taught that it’s better to forgive and let things go whenever something negative happens. I was told that it’s admirable to be the bigger person and just forgive. But honestly, I became EXHAUSTED by allowing and being cool with bad treatment. I knew stronger boundaries were necessary I didn’t really know how to start because it is incredibly difficult to enforce strict boundaries with people you love. I began working with a therapist to help me and having a strong, supportive significant other was essential for me in the process. What I can tell you, once I began to set stronger boundaries my mind got clearer, my self worth got a sharp boost and all of my relationships have improved. Plus, I am more confident in setting boundaries with my little boy, which is a big help for a sensitive mama.
Life Application. Every time you read a book, watch a Ted Talk, take a course, you are expanding your mind and learning something new. The more you do this, the higher your confidence will soar because you are intentionally investing in yourself. But if you’re always learning and never actually implementing the wisdom, it does you no good. Every year I like to invest in a big opportunity to learn. It could be hiring a coach, taking a course or attending a conference. This year I decided to invest in the Amanda Frances Money course. What I learned from the course hands down changed my life. Not because it was new information I had never heard before but because everyday I did the work. I held myself accountable for not only learning but actually applying what I learned. When you keep yourself and your mind open to learning new things and trying them out, you place yourself in the frequency of growth and evolution. That upward momentum will act as a force that supports you toward getting all the things that you want. Let’s say for example you want to lose weight, watch a documentary or read a book on the subject and nine times out of ten, it will spark some inspiration or practical tips for you to implement changes immediately. So instead of reading 5 magazines on losing weight and dieting, choose one book or program that has an action plan and implement that with all of your attention. Don’t overwhelm yourself with other ideas (this will actually clutter up your mind). This also applies to boundaries, it’s wonderful to set them, but applying and enforcing them helps it to actually work. Application is everything. I suggest by starting small, implement things in incrementally You can set reminders in your phone to help you like “consume 64oz of water” or “declutter emails” .
Creative thinking. It may sound a little obvious but have you ever sat down with yourself just to think? Maybe on vacation you’ve stared into the ocean and just allowed yourself time to think and then all of a sudden everything in your life became more clear. When we have 3,487 things going on in our lives, remembering to carve out time for creative thinking is hard to do. However, when you do make specific and intentional time to think and write down desires, creative ideas, inspiring goals or really anything that makes you feel good, it will instantly give you clarity. You can start by spending 5 minutes a day for thinking. Just thinking. Not multi tasking or doing other things while thinking but actually just being in thought. It’s a form of meditation that will do wonders for your life. I like to do this by asking myself a question from my book, the Blissful Living Journal. It could even be as simple as asking yourself, “how would I like to feel today”? Then, really focus your thoughts on that question. When you think on a specific question or topic, try to keep your mind focused on it. If your thoughts begin to spiral into something else, just gently bring them back to question. The purpose of this practice is to gain clarity on your life and what it is that you really want. When you’re clear on what you want, it makes it easy to find creative solutions to accomplish your dreams or live a life by design. Clarity leads to productivity which leads to actualization which helps you to not just dream about things happening but to actually make steps towards making your dreams happen. You’ll also decrease your stress, confusion, anxiety & overwhelm while you’re at it.
Rest and tune in. No matter which way you slice it, getting an appropriate amount of sleep is essential for a healthy life. While you are making sure that you are getting enough sleep, you should be sure that you feel rested. When you are rested, it is easier for you to tune into what is happening in your body. When your body is in fight or flight mode (which is almost all the time in this fast paced world) it is difficult for you to actually understand and hear what it is trying to tell you. You want to pay attention to everything happening in your body, your body is your temple and it knows before you do what it needs. There is so much energy in your hands that you literally can heal yourself and others with your hands. If you aren’t into Reiki, I highly suggest reading up on it. Like Louise Hay says “you can heal your life”. So, if you are feeling anything in your life needs help or healing, take some time to rest (which should be easier when you declutter your calendar) and tune into what your body is telling you. I personally find that when I am operating in a more mindful state, I eat better because I pay attention to how foods taste and make me feel. I have also learned how to better determine if something or someone is good for me or draining me by slowing down and paying attention to how I feel after them. This is hands down one of my favorite and most impactful self care tips for blissful living.
P.S. It’s important to not judge yourself while you’re incorporating these new self care habits. It takes a minute for them to really sink in but when you consistently give your personal development love and attention, you’ll have no choice but to improve and life will just keep getting better.
I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I loved writing it. I am excited to be bringing myself back to creating content more and more. Be sure to stay in touch and get on the love list, where I send weekly love letters.