Emotional Intelligence: 5 Good Girl Habits That Block Your Manifestations + how to break them {podcast ep. 357}

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” when it comes to manifestation — scripting, visualizing, keeping your vibe high — but you’re still not seeing results, you’re not alone. The truth is, many women are unknowingly sabotaging their manifestation power with “good girl trauma habits.”

These are the unconscious behaviors we learned to keep the peace, stay likable, and fit into roles that made others comfortable. But while they may have once felt safe, they now energetically block your alignment, weaken your boundaries, and send mixed signals to the Universe.

Listen to the podcast episode here:

If you’re ready to stop shrinking into the ‘good girl’ and finally step into the magnetic woman you were always meant to be, Manifestation Queen Academy will walk you through the exact tools, rituals, and mindset shifts to manifest with confidence, clarity, and ease.

In this post, we’ll explore not only the 5 most common good girl trauma habits, but also the deeper issues of spiritual bypassing, the missing link of emotional intelligence, and a step-by-step framework to manifest in a grounded, powerful, and authentic way.

What Is Spiritual Bypassing (and Why It’s Hurting You)?

Spiritual bypassing happens when we use spiritual practices or beliefs to avoid facing real emotions. Think:

• Forcing positivity when you’re struggling.

• Pretending everything is fine so you don’t “lower your vibration.”

• Repeating affirmations without processing the anger, grief, or fear underneath.

👉 The problem? This creates a fragile foundation. When challenges come, everything crumbles because you’ve never learned how to regulate your emotions and move through them.

💡 Takeaway: Manifestation isn’t about avoiding negative emotions — it’s about processing them fully so you can realign with your desires in truth and authenticity.

The 5 Good Girl Trauma Habits Blocking Your Manifestations

These habits might look harmless on the surface, but energetically, they’re keeping you from becoming magnetic. Here’s what they are — and how to shift them.

Habit 1: Saying “I’m Fine” When You’re Not

When you automatically say “I’m fine” even though you’re hurting, overwhelmed, or angry, you create an energetic mismatch between your inner world and your outer words. Manifestation requires congruence — your vibration, words, and actions need to align.

• Why it blocks manifestation: The Universe can’t deliver clarity when you’re masking the truth. Pretending to be okay keeps you from receiving the support or healing you need.

• What to do instead: Practice radical honesty with yourself first. Try journaling prompts like, “What am I really feeling right now?” or say out loud, “I’m not okay today, and that’s okay.”

• Motivational shift: Remember — your vulnerability is not weakness. It’s strength. By acknowledging your real feelings, you open the door to authentic transformation.

Habit 2: Avoiding What You Really Want

Many women hold back from naming their desires because they fear being “selfish,” “too much,” or “unrealistic.” But manifestation only works when you’re brave enough to own what you truly want.

• Why it blocks manifestation: Shrinking your desires signals lack to the Universe. If you won’t admit what you want, you’ll never energetically align with it.

• What to do instead: Write a “no limits” list. Ask yourself, “If I believed I was worthy of it all, what would I claim?” Say it, script it, and feel into it unapologetically.

• Motivational shift: Claiming your desires is an act of self-worth. When you own what you want, you show the Universe you’re ready to receive.

Habit 3: Over-Explaining and Justifying Your Decisions

Do you find yourself explaining every choice — why you left a job, why you’re dating someone, why you bought something — as if you need everyone else’s permission?

• Why it blocks manifestation: Over-explaining leaks your power and tells the Universe you don’t fully trust yourself. Manifestation thrives on self-certainty.

• What to do instead: Try setting a boundary: “This feels right for me, and that’s enough.” No justification required.

• Motivational shift: Every time you stand in your decision with confidence, you magnetize more opportunities aligned with your authentic self.

Habit 4: Fake Chill Girl Energy (Avoiding Conflict)

Being “low maintenance” or the “chill girl” might feel easier in the moment, but in reality, you’re bypassing conflict and suppressing emotions that need to be expressed.

• Why it blocks manifestation: Suppressing tension dysregulates your nervous system. Instead of being calm, you’re in silent overdrive — and the Universe feels that frantic energy.

• What to do instead: Before a tough conversation, regulate your energy with breathwork, meditation, or a grounding ritual. Then, show up and speak your truth clearly and calmly.

• Motivational shift: Real magnetism doesn’t come from being easygoing at all costs — it comes from being regulated, authentic, and unafraid of honesty.

Habit 5: Apologizing When You Don’t Need To

Constantly saying “sorry” — for taking up space, asking questions, or simply existing — creates an energetic pattern of guilt.

• Why it blocks manifestation: Apologizing unnecessarily signals unworthiness. If you’re always sorry, you unconsciously affirm you don’t deserve to receive.

• What to do instead: Replace “sorry” with “thank you.” Instead of “sorry I’m late,” say “thank you for waiting.”

• Motivational shift: Every unnecessary apology you stop giving is a step back into your power. You are worthy of space, respect, and your desires.

The Missing Piece: Emotional Intelligence

Manifestation isn’t about staying “high vibe” — it’s about becoming emotionally resilient. That resilience comes from emotional intelligence, which is the ability to notice, process, and regulate emotions while also respecting others’.

The 4 Core Skills to Build Emotional Intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness: Notice your triggers, patterns, and feelings without judgment.

   • Practice: Ask yourself daily, “What am I feeling and why?”

2. Self-Regulation: Learn to calm your nervous system and process emotions healthily.

   • Practice: Breathwork, EFT tapping, somatic movement.

3. Empathy: Understand how others may feel, even in conflict.

   • Practice: Pause before reacting and consider their perspective.

4. Boundaries: Communicate needs clearly without guilt.

   • Practice: Use “I” statements like, “I feel ___ when ___ happens. I need ___.”

💡 Takeaway: The more emotionally intelligent you are, the more grounded and magnetic your manifestation energy becomes.

Manifestation doesn’t happen by bypassing your emotions — it happens when you align with them. If you’re craving deeper support in building emotional intelligence and stepping into your glow, join me inside Manifestation Queen Academy. It’s your invitation to stop playing small and start manifesting the life you deserve.

How to Manifest Without Bypassing

Instead of spiritual bypassing or “good girl” habits, try this grounded framework:

Step 1: Acknowledge Reality
Say what’s real. Example: “I’m anxious about money right now.”

Step 2: Process Emotions
Journal, cry, or move your body. Let the energy move through you.

Step 3: Choose Intentional Action
Act from your higher self, not your triggered self. Example: Instead of panic-spending, make one clear financial plan.

Step 4: Hold the Vision
Now return to your affirmations, scripting, and visualization — but from an emotionally integrated state.

💡 Takeaway: Your desires become more magnetic when you align with them from truth and grounded wholeness, not avoidance.

From Good Girl to Glow Girl

Breaking free from good girl habits isn’t just about boundaries — it’s about claiming your worth, your power, and your authenticity. When you stop apologizing, stop faking “fine,” and stop bypassing your emotions, you create space for true magnetism.

The Universe doesn’t need you to be perfect. It needs you to be authentic. And that authenticity, combined with emotional intelligence, is the most powerful manifestation tool you’ll ever have.

Beautiful, you don’t have to keep apologizing, bypassing, or waiting for permission. Your next level begins the moment you choose yourself. Inside Manifestation Queen, I’ll teach you how to regulate your energy, reclaim your self-worth, and manifest from your most authentic, feminine power.

you may also like:

• 14 best hormone balancing teas every woman should be drinking

• 8 glow up habits for a sharper mind in your 40’s + beyond

Please feel free to email me at ashlina@thedecorista.com if you have any questions!  I’m always happy to help with decorating, life advice or even picking out a specific perfume!  Have an amazing day!!

Also, check out my Amazon shop HERE to shop all my favorite things, tips and tricks.

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Feng Shui : 6 simple ways to instantly create a high vibrational home {podcast ep.}

If you’ve been looking for ways to improve the your home’s energy, look no further, this post will show you 6 simple ways to Feng Shui your sanctuary.

After being an interior designer for over 14 years, I’ve fallen in love with the art of living. I’ve studied the psychology of the home, feng shui practices and the emotional effects clutter has on our minds and bodies. The home is so much more than just a place to lay our head at night, its the environment in which we bloom.

Making sure that your home has a high vibration is essential to your emotional, physical and spiritual well being. I am going to share 6 ways you can transform your home into a sanctuary that creates a blissful life.

I recorded a podcast episode for you diving deeper into even more of these High Vibe Home tips, take a listen below.

Have you ever walked into a space and instantly felt calm, happy, and inspired — as if the air itself lifted your mood? That’s the magic of a well-balanced home, and it’s exactly what Feng Shui helps you create.

Feng Shui (pronounced fung shway) is an ancient Chinese practice that harmonizes your living environment with your inner life. It’s more than just rearranging furniture; it’s an intentional way to invite good energy, or Chi, into every corner of your home so you feel supported, abundant, and at peace.

In this beginner-friendly guide, you’ll learn exactly what Feng Shui is, how it works, and six simple tips to transform your space into a sanctuary of high-vibe energy — no complicated rules or expensive renovations required.

What is Feng Shui?

Feng Shui literally means wind and water. Rooted in ancient Chinese wisdom, it’s a practice that studies how energy flows through our surroundings — from the placement of doors and furniture to the colors, light, and elements we use.

Think of Feng Shui as acupuncture for your home: it helps clear blockages, balance energy, and create a natural flow that supports your health, relationships, prosperity, and happiness.

Key concepts in Feng Shui include:

• Chi: The life force or energy flow in all things.

• Bagua Map: A tool to see which parts of your home relate to areas of your life (like wealth, love, and health).

• Five Elements: Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water — each brings unique qualities to a space.

• Yin and Yang: The balance of calm and active energies.

How Feng Shui Can Help You

Feng Shui isn’t just an old tradition — it’s practical, powerful, and modern-friendly. When applied with intention, it can:

✨ Attract more abundance — by activating your money corner and clearing blocks to wealth.

🧘‍♀️ Create a calm, restful atmosphere — perfect for deep sleep and stress relief.

💖 Strengthen relationships — by nurturing spaces that foster love, connection, and warmth.

🌱 Boost your health and vitality — with cleaner air, more light, and a supportive environment.

🖥️ Increase focus and productivity — an uncluttered, balanced space helps your mind stay clear and inspired.

The best part? You don’t have to be a Feng Shui master — small, simple shifts make a big difference.

Related Reading: 11 tips to create a home that calms your nervous system

Learn the art of simple Feng Shui that helps turn your home into a vision board.

6 ways to transform your home using feng shui:

1. Tackle projects. Anything that needs to be completed or fixed, needs to be done now. Allowing unfinished projects to pile up around the home can be incredibly draining on your subconscious mind and allow for lingering doubtful thought patterns. It’s so important to finish up to do lists, go through that pile of unopened mail, hang that artwork you’ve been meaning to get to, etc. This can also show up as unfolded or undone laundry, messy closets, a piled up garage.

2. Balance the masculine & feminine energy in your spaces. When you are wanting to create harmony at home, you need to look at how each living space makes you feel. Today, many kitchens are really modern, with sleek lines and sharp edges. Which is very masculine energy. However, the kitchen represents warmth, love, connection, healing. You want your kitchen to feel warm and you may need to inject some feminine energy into your cooking space. Try adding wood bowls and cutting boards (earthy and warm) or even bring in color and luck with potatoes, lemons and oranges on display.

   In your living area you will want a balance of both feminine and masculine to bring harmony into your home. Masculine energy inspires activities and fun while feminine energy inspires nurturing, communication and love.

   Rooms that should be more feminine: bedroom, kitchen, bathrooms

   Rooms that should be more masculine: office, garage, laundry

   Rooms that should have a balance of both: dining room, living room, outdoor spaces

3. Update your entryway. If you have been feeling a little bored or stagnant in your life, you can make room for new opportunities to come to your life by cleaning and updating your entryway. Make sure you clean your front door, sweep the floor around and wipe off any dust or dirt. Revamp your entryway with crystals (I like selenite to purify the energy coming in and black tourmaline to protect your home’s energy). I have an entire e-book about 25 things to you canto your front door to attract more money and abundance, its FREE inside my High Vibe Home workshop. See all my e-books here.

4. Create balance in the bedroom. This one is major. Whatever is underneath your bed can tell you a lot about what you have going on in your life at the moment. I once knew a guy who had a lot of battles he was fighting in his life and when I went over to design his home, he had his guns and rifles stored under his bed. So, know that whatever you have under there, will have a literal effect on your life.

You also want to have your nightstands balanced, they don’t have to be exact but they need to be similar in size and shape. Same with the light on each side. You also want to make sure your nightstands aren’t filled with junk or random things, be intentional about what you keep next to you while you sleep.

IN EVERY ROOM YOU MUST Balance the Five Elements

A harmonious room has all five elements:

• Wood: Plants, wooden furniture.

• Fire: Candles, warm colors, sunlight.

• Earth: Crystals, clay pots, ceramic decor.

• Metal: Metal frames, wind chimes, metal bowls.

• Water: Fountains, mirrors, images of water.

Look around: what’s missing? Add a small touch to balance the vibe.

{How to manifest with crystals guide}

{How to manifest with crystals guide}

5. Know your birth chart. According to astrology, your main 3 placements are key in helping you know what elements will support you in living a blissful and happy life. You want to find our your Sun sign, Moon sign and Rising sign. You can book a birth chart readings here with me.

I’m a double Capricorn and an Aquarius moon…meaning I have heavy Earth and a little Air in my chart. So when I am surrounded by heavy, earthy objects and lots of windows and light, I feel supported. And to balance out my heavy yang energy, I need more warmth and comfort in my home. You want your home to calibrate with your natal energy.

6. Transform your bathroom into a self care sanctuary. Water is healing and every day you should take a bath or shower to cleanse off your personal energy from the day. This is key in creating a harmonious home.

You always want to be sure that you are giving yourself the royal treatment. What kind of products are you putting on your skin and body? Do you bath products show that you are taking exquisite care of yourself? Are you spending enough time in healing water or are you rushing through your grooming process?

Related Reading: How to set up a bathroom spa sanctuary

Feng Shui Mistakes to Avoid

Even the simplest tips work best when you avoid common pitfalls:

🚪 Don’t block the front door: It’s your home’s main entry for fresh Chi.

🗑️ Fix what’s broken: Leaky faucets, squeaky doors, burnt-out bulbs — they all create stuck energy.

🛏️ No clutter under the bed: It affects your sleep and your subconscious.

🐢 Keep bathrooms tidy: In Feng Shui, drains can “flush away” good luck. Keep lids closed and doors shut.
Feng Shui FAQs

Is Feng Shui religious?
No. It’s a philosophy and design approach, not a religion. Anyone can use it, regardless of beliefs.

Can I Feng Shui an apartment?
Yes! Even if you rent, small touches — like mirrors, plants, crystals, and mindful arrangement — make a huge difference.

Do I need a Feng Shui consultant?
Not for everyday improvements. For big life goals or a full home reset, it can be worth it.

How fast does Feng Shui work?
Changes can be immediate (feeling calmer in a decluttered room) or unfold over weeks as you shift your environment and your mindset.

Check out my High Vibe Home workshop here.

Main image via pinterest