Book Club: 6 things I learned about The Art of Southern Charm

There is nothing I love more than a book about lifestyle. Entertaining, decorating, cooking, style, wellness, etc. I even wrote a book about living because I really just love it so much. Lifestyle guides are what get me through life. I wish my grandmother had written one and I am now even thinking of two aunts of mine and how I may push them to write one too. I love digging deep into these books, I always have a highlighter and pen on hand so I can highlight and take notes. This book in particular, The Art of Southern Charm by Patricia Altschul really has me so inspired. Patricia is a muse, an inspiration, an example of the fabulous way of living that we women need to pay attention to. There is grace, elegance and charm in living intentionally, not rushed, hurried, wrinkled and stressed. What is glamorous about that? So I thought I would share 6 things I learned and noted in this book so that you can write these down too.

1. Build a stationary wardrobe. This is something that I have always done but let’s face it, life gets in the way and we forget to write those handwritten notes. It is easy to thank someone for a gift or send a thoughtful note to a friend who is grieving via text or email but this just isn’t charming. A handwritten note goes a LONG way. Naturally a stationary wardrobe will help you to inspire you to send someone a handwritten note, and with easy access to gorgeous stationary, you will be more inclined to write it. I recently went to pick up some new stationary and fell in love with Matthew Willamsons stationary designs for some pretty and easy notecards. Personalized stationary is key. In the South, monograms and personalization are everything so make sure to get yourself some personalized stationary, it is a MUST.

2. Treat yourself with trays. You must build a collection of trays for yourself. It makes ordinary actions seem like glamorous moments. Hit up an antique shop to find a gorgeous silver tray. Make sure you get one that is real silver with gorgeous handles and nice details like this beauty. I use my silver tray for coffee and tea in the mornings. You can use these to corral your beauty items in the bathroom or serve an afternoon sandwich. A bed tray is also an essential. You can find a beautiful tray for the bed to use while you read and catch up on the latest episode of Southern Charm. I am obsessed with this bohemian chic one.

3. Simplicity is key to entertaining well. Here’s the thing, if you want to be sure to host a fabulous party, keep the food simple but display it on gorgeous dishes. Tea sandwiches, hot dogs and deviled eggs look best on beautiful and whimsical dishes. Be creative about how you serve a simple dish and you will WOW your guests. No need to break out the Julia Childs cookbook. You can even order Chinese food but serve it on a gorgeous dish and voila’. Think Anthropologie dishes or my current obsession is the Tory Burch cabbage plates.

4. We need a resurgence of the cocktail hour. This is a secret to socializing without having to actually go out. Such a brilliant idea for someone like me who loves to be home. Or for anyone who has kids at home that makes it more difficult to go out. Throw a party from 6-8pm. Invite your friends. Create a signature cocktail for the event. Suggest a certain type of attire. Play some really fun music. Think Breakfast at Tiffanys house party, nothing formal or seated, just cocktails and good conversations.

5. Potpourri in a decorative bowl. It makes a lasting impression. The Bitter Orange blend by Agraria is her favorite. It’s nicknamed Park Avenue Potpourri. This is a signature move for her, so take the inspiration and create your own home signature scent.

6. Caftans and cocktails are a MUST. A caftan collection is all your wardrobe really needs. Especially in the South and in the Summertime. You can wear them while hosting an outdoor party or to a fabulous cocktail event. It’s all about the accessories, make sure you have some big statement earrings to go with it. Also, a dressing drink is always best. To help relax you as you get ready to attend an event or throw one. It helps to calm the nerves. The way to always be fabulous is to always be relaxed (caftans make you feel easy and breezy and so do cocktails) and ready to mingle.

I am obsessed with her pink caftan here, I am thinking I need one asap. Here are a few I have my eyes on.

Living with intention: how to do a proper tea ceremony meditation (Step by Step)

If you have difficulty meditating, a tea ceremony meditation might be for you.

These days, self care isn’t exactly something I get to put at the top of my list everyday. It is absolutely a high priority for me but I just don’t have as much time as I used to for it. As a mom, my attention is shared with another little human so I only get a fraction of my own time. What I have found to be essential is living with INTENTION.

LIVING WITH INTENTION

For me, that means in everything that I do, there is an intention behind it. Even something as simple as brushing my teeth, I use that time for affirmations and planting seeds of positive thoughts and good feelings. If I am taking a bath, I am imagining all of the days energy washing off of me. When I play with my baby, I am admiring his beauty and appreciating his existence. I pour praise, love, adoration and nurturing energy into him. When I make my jewelry, I am thinking about how these pieces will lead whoever wears them to their bliss, the energy inside them is full of intention.

What you focus on, expands. What you give energy to, always grows. There are countless ways to say it but it is very simple really. To sum it up, it doesn’t matter what you are doing in life, you want the energy behind what you are doing to be meaningful and brimming with a high frequency. That energy will fill your insides and then expand to others who come in contact with you. This will create a world around you of your own making. Your intentions will create your world.

When you begin to build your life with intention, you will find yourself baby stepping your way to bliss. Let’s break it down for you a little bit more.

You can live intentionally by adoption rituals into your daily routines. One ritual that I have adopted, after seeing the Kardashians do this amazing tea ceremony, is a tea time meditation. These typically are a Chinese ritual of silence and mindfulness while preparing organic & pure tea. However, as with most things, I like to create my own version filled with a lot of intention and a little glamour. I have totally become a woman who has an appreciation and love for all things spiritual but I choose to make these rituals glamorous, beautiful and in a way that feels fabulous to me. So that my home living experience if of course, blissful.

Full disclosure, this particular morning, I was drinking coffee. I just decided to make my coffee in the same way you make tea (french press gives you that filtered boiling water aspect). Anyway, the point is, you can make this your own and have the same effect. It’s more about taking time out to live intentionally.

Related Reading: the most perfect ritual robe I’ve found

Here is how to do a proper tea ceremony (step by step):

#1 Set the scene:

Once Roman goes down for his morning nap, I begin preparing for my mini meditation. I open the windows wide, let some fresh air in and lots of sunlight. You’re supposed to sit in silence but I prefer to listen to meditation music, the sounds are so soothing and serene. I like to provide myself ample beautiful things to look at because beauty makes me happy, joyful and zen.

I like interior design books because it’s more about visuals and not about words. I like to have fresh flowers, too. Pink roses are my favorite lately, however I can’t wait for peony season at Trader Joes. I like using a silver tray for absolutely everything so that usually carts around my teacup and tea pot. In a typical tea ceremony, they recommend using pottery but I always insist on beauty so I love porcelain tea cups. There is something mindful about them to me.

#2 What I wear:

Of course, I am always in one of my kimono robes, this helps things feel more ritual to me. A robe is a garment that signifies something. It means something. Traditionally, people wear robes to preform ceremonies or rituals, its a part of making the experience significant and meaningful. So, why shouldn’t we wear fabulous robes at home while we experience our own rituals. That could be washing the dishes, making tea, etc. Whatever it is for you that you are trying to give intention to, a robe really helps to amplify that.

I always wear crystals. I make it really fun and select the type of crystal energy I need for that day. Say I want to lean into gratitude and calm? I choose something like peach jade. If I am ready to manifest something, I choose something like amazonite. Wearing my crystal jewelry helps me to be specific with my intention. The universe and God love us being specific and being true to our hearts so crystals help you center around that.

Buy on Amazon

Buy on Amazon

#3 Making the tea:

This is where you get in your meditation. As you prepare your tea, be in silence. Be slow about the creation. Make everything beautiful and meaningful, sit in appreciation of this moment. Of course, thoughts will fill your mind ‘oh my god this is so silly’ or ‘oh crap, I need to fold the laundry’. Resist the urge to tend to those thoughts. Allow them and let them go. Return your attention to your intention and make your tea. Listen to the sounds, allow yourself to really get into it and see how the experience makes you feel.

Once I have made the tea, I take my tray over to the area where I just sit, relax and enjoy the experience. I take several deep breaths. I like to gaze out the window and see what colors I am most drawn to ( a Feng Shui practice that helps you learn what it is that you need more of that day ). Pay attention to your thoughts. If you think of a friend, perhaps you should reach out later or if you think of something you have been wanting to do, maybe it’s time you should go do it.

The purpose of this meditation is to quiet your mind and listen to your soul, your heart, your intuition.

#4. Journal whatever comes to mind.

Here’s the good part: When I am done with the tea, I write down EVERYTHING. All the thoughts, ideas, moments, etc. Whatever you need to get out of your mind, write it out. This will help you walk into your day with intention and clarity. You will feel a little lighter too.

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Buy on Amazon

I have always experienced a difference in my mind, body connection when I am in meditation. If you would like an easy start into a good mindfulness journey, join me in my Soul Aligned workshop. A 21-day workshop focused on your spiritual/personal growth…

I wanted to leave you with this quote so that you remember that while they may seem unimportant and silly, meditations and rituals like these are what you fill your insides up with. Hope you enjoy.

Have a beautiful weekend. Xo, ashlina