If you know deep down that you are meant for something bigger, this message is for you.
The other day I was sent a question from one of my insta-friends, “How do I get the courage to show my work on social media?” and it hit me like a super sized water balloon. I thought to myself “other people struggle with this too?” I mean, these days people share everything down to their coffee on social media every morning, why wouldn’t they share their creative pursuits?
I can completely relate to this. About a year ago I began my podcast, I probably recorded twenty before I ever even published one. I was so hesitant to press that publish button for fear of what others would think. For years, I’ve been successful in my interiors career but when shifting into new territory deeper fears begin to emerge . I have thrown out so many photos of things I haven’t felt were worthy of the ‘gram. As a new mom, I have such a hard time with photos of myself, too. There is so much pressure to have things look perfect, it can absolutely dismantle any and all ideas of successful sharing. It’s natural for all of us to have that sense of insecurity in our work, so we set out to get the feedback and permission from others to allow us to continue and go for it. I’ve learned that the fastest way to feeling stuck in life, is to hide our creative expression. You see those people who bury themselves in shopping problems and happy hours, they often find that they are covering up their creative expressions with these masks. It’s a gift to yourself to let your creativity shine.
I really feel called to touch on this topic because I truly believe that we live in a time where creativity is encouraged and celebrated and the table isn’t full. If you have a passion, a talent and something that you love to do, you were ABSOLUTELY meant to do it and share it with the world. The world is waiting for you to show up and show off your skills. Success is possible for all of us.
Having said that, I absolutely understand what it feels like to not feel confident enough to stick with it and self promote your new venture. It’s like those musicians that never “finish” their album, if you peeked behind the curtain, you would see that they continually are “working” on it so they never have to open it up to the possible rejection and scrutiny. It can be incredibly overwhelming as an artist to show your creative pursuits to the world. This is where personal development is key to building a profitable and flourishing business. We have to be willing to take a look inside of ourselves and see what is really going on in the subconscious mind.
So, how is it that some people out there effortlessly share their work with the world with no hesitation and seemingly have the magic touch that turns everything to gold? CONFIDENCE! That’s how. The thing is, confidence can’t be bought but it can be built, you just have to make a decision and choose to be confident.
A few ways to find your own personal confidence and build it:
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS. Literally, stop. Years ago my girlfriend, Cara Alwill Leyba told me that she stopped following anyone on social media that was in her industry. She didn’t want what they were doing to influence her work, you should definitely read her book if you need a boost of confidence. I think this is very important for creatives. We are living in a time where we can see pretty much at all times what other people are doing and that can totally distract us from our own focus. The less time you spend checking out & comparing yourself on social media, the more time you have to be creative and innovative on your own.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Here’s the deal, there is no other you. So there is absolutely no possible way that anyone else can actually copy or replace you. They can’t be YOU and you can’t be THEM. So don’t try. Focus on your skills, talents, traits, quirks and build on them. Make a list of each of your unique qualities and post it on your bathroom mirror, make it your screensaver. Do whatever you have to do to remind yourself how unique, qualified and talented you are.
GET ZEN. When you relax, let go and just go with the flow of things you create less drama around sharing your work. If you want to share, share it. If you don’t, don’t fight that feeling. Dropping the drama around “sharing your work” decreases the resistance to it. Then, when you’re ready to, you’ll share. When you have this stress-free attitude, you’ll naturally give off a confident vibe. This is my personal favorite confidence hack.
CHECK YOUR GUT. Ask yourself what it is that you really want to do. Deep down if you are feeling like you need/want/should share your stuff, you should listen. Your intuition knows your potential and when you follow her advice, she gets stronger, louder and will always have your back. Don’t let your fear talk you out of it. Your intuition will speak in a positive tone, your fear will speak in a bossy, harsh, mean girl tone.
FILL YOUR MIND WITH POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT. Podcasts, books, YouTube videos and blog posts like this one should be on demand for you. You can always find me in the grocery store, car or getting my nails done with my ipods in my ear. I am always learning and growing. Here are a list of some of my favorite resources when I am feeling a little less confident:
Gary Vee- just one episode of his podcast should pump you up. I also really love his book Crushing It, I highly recommend it.
Jen Sincero- she has two really great books, You are a Bad Ass & You are a Bad Ass and Making Money. Both are great reads.
Gina Devee- she is such an inspiring business woman and will give you that big sister pep talk you’ve been dying for. I absolutely love her talk show videos.
JUST START. Honestly, every time you share something you’ve done with the world, you build the muscle of belief in yourself. The first time I had a jewelry trunk show and stood up in front of a group of women talking about my jewelry I couldn’t speak I was so nervous. Once I got over that hump and began chatting with women who were in love with my work, it shifted. My energy was lighter and free and I felt confident to do it again and again and again.
REMEMBER THIS: When you do begin to share, you will begin to find your people. You are not the only person in the world who will love what you do. There are people out there who will be attracted to you and your work, those are your people. Your people are waiting for you to show up because they are looking for you, they need you to shine so they can shine too.
I love you, Ashlina
p.s. If you have any confidence tips or hacks, let us know in the comments section that way we can save this post for future reference.
p.s.s. If this post resonated with you, you’ll like this one too.
Title image photo credit: Crystal Virgin Mary @killdie Kyle Montgomery art
6 ways to use your luxury candle vessels after the burn & how to remove the wax
If you are looking for ways to reuse your luxury candle vessel, this post will give you 5 great ideas.
I have always loved a good candle purchase. I am of the mind, the more candles in the home, the better. I especially love when they come in a chic little container. If I am going to spend a pretty penny on a candle, I want to be able to display it as decor in my home. I also want to make the most out of it and keep the vessel for future use. Everything I purchase has to be aesthetically attractive, I’m not into buying anything that doesn’t suit my taste. So, candle shopping is a very intentional thing for me.
Nothing frustrates me more than a high dollar candle with a sub par smell. If I want a pretty little vase, I’ll just go buy a one from Anthropologie. However, there are a few brands that I absolutely love and stand by one hundred percent. The added bonus, they make such adorable little vessels/containers for chic storage, organization & flower arrangements. We’re all about the details around here, no?
For me, Diptyque candles are the ultimate luxury. Sure, they’re above average on the pricing scale but I do believe they are well worth it. The smells are beautiful and true, the fragrance will fill the room and continue until the very end of the candle, you can’t say that about all candles. I find that they last longer than comparable candles, too.
My favorite is the large Baies in black , this scent is my go-to and the vessel looks so beautiful after, too. My second favorite is the Fig.
Voluspa is another favorite brand. They’re a little more affordable and their vessels are super chic & pretty. They have more fun & feminine scents, so I love to give these candles as gifts and everyone loves a cute voluspa candle. You just can’t go wrong with them. I also love that they come in so many different sizes, these can be great travel candles ( I always bring a candle on my weekend trips ). Branche Vermeil is my favorite I am obsessed with the mercury glass jar, so is Mokara which comes in a pretty white jar.
So what do you do when the candle ends?
I hate throwing away a pretty little candle vessel. I just could never bring myself to do it. Especially when there are so many brilliant ways to use a cute candle vessel after the burn.
Here are 6 fun ideas for what to do with your used candle vessels:
#1. Fill it with cut flowers.
RECREATE THIS LOOK:
2. Organize beauty and bath essentials ( perfume samples, Q-tips, makeup brushes, beauty tools).
repurposing luxury candles // source
3. Cute everyday item display ( think sugar packets, tea bags, matches, etc. )
diptyque candle coffee table style // source
RECREATE THIS LOOK:
4. Sort your favorite rollerball and perfume samples.
Diptyque perfume style // source
My favorite: If you haven’t tried to NEST Madagascar Vanilla perfume oil rollerball, you are missing out. You must have this in your collection.
5. Repot your plants, succulents or orchids.
succulents in empty candles // source
RECREATE THIS LOOK:
6. Sort office supplies ( paper clips, pens & pencils, business cards, scissors )
How to remove the wax from your candles:
HOT TIP: The secret to making sure the wax removes easily at the end is to be sure that each time you burn the candle, you let the entire top layer of wax melt. Don’t blow it out before then. This ensures a smooth burn so your candle lasts and the wax pops out easily.
….and VOILA’! You have a beautiful, stylish & chic container to use for so many things around the home.
What are your favorite candles? I would love to know, let me know in the comments below…and be sure to read this post for more candle tips.
Love, Ashlina 💕
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I'll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you.
