Money Matters: How to Have a Money Date and Why It’s an Essential Wellness Practice {podcast ep.349}

Money touches every corner of our lives — yet so many of us avoid truly looking at it. We feel shame about debt, guilt about spending, or fear about not having enough. But what if tending to your finances could actually be a loving, gentle ritual — a wellness practice just like meditation, journaling, or yoga?

This is exactly what financial therapist Bari Tessler teaches with her idea of the money date. In this post, we’re going to break down exactly how to have one, and why building financial intimacy with yourself might be the most overlooked form of self-care you can practice.

And I even recorded a podcast episode for you all about the topic.

💔 Money Stress: The Silent Relationship Killer

Money isn’t just math — it’s deeply emotional. And when it’s neglected or avoided, it becomes a silent stressor that impacts our mental health, relationships, and even our physical well-being.

Consider this:

• Money is the #1 cause of relationship stress. According to Ramsey Solutions, money fights are the second leading cause of divorce, just behind infidelity.

• A study by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts found that 22% of divorces cite money issues as the primary cause.

• The American Psychological Association’s Stress in America survey consistently shows that money is a top source of stress for 72% of adults.

• Financial strain is strongly linked to depression and anxiety. Research published in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues found a clear correlation between financial stress and depressive symptoms.

In short: our relationship with money can deeply affect our quality of life — for better or for worse.

This isn’t just about budgeting your money, it’s about creating a brand new relationship with money and your wealth. Inside my course, Soul Aligned Wealth, I guide you to reprogramming your brain for a more positive & healthy relationship with finances. Every morning for 21 mornings, you will re-wire your brain & body to align with the type of relationship to wealth that you really want. Check it out here.

✨ What Is a Money Date?

A money date is exactly what it sounds like: a date with your money. Instead of avoiding your finances or facing them only when problems arise, you set aside dedicated time — ideally each month — to gently and lovingly check in.

During a money date, you might:

• Review your bank accounts

• Look at your spending without judgment

• Pay bills

• Adjust your budget

• Set goals for the coming month

• Celebrate any wins, no matter how small

It’s a chance to reconnect with where you are financially, where you want to go, and how to get there — with curiosity instead of criticism.

💆‍♀️ Why a Money Date Is Self-Care

Too often, we think of self-care as bubble baths and spa days. But true self-care includes caring for your future self.

A money date helps you:
✔️ Feel more in control and less overwhelmed
✔️ Reduce financial anxiety and avoidance
✔️ Communicate better with your partner about money
✔️ Make aligned choices with your values and goals
✔️ Cultivate a sense of peace, security, and empowerment

When you know where your money is going and have a plan, you free up mental and emotional energy for other areas of your life — relationships, health, creativity, and rest.

🗝️ How to Have Your Own Money Date

Ready to try it? Here’s how to make your first money date enjoyable, not intimidating:

1️⃣ Schedule It
Put it on your calendar like you would a coffee date with a friend. Choose a time you’re relaxed and unlikely to be interrupted.

2️⃣ Set the Mood
Light a candle, pour your favorite drink, play calming music. Make it feel safe and pleasant.

Or you can visit a local coffee shop, hotel restaurant, make it an actual date.

3️⃣ Reflect with Gratitude
Start by acknowledging what your money has provided for you recently — groceries, a roof over your head, maybe a treat for yourself, etc.

4️⃣ Check In, Gently
Open your accounts. Look at your spending, income, and bills. Be curious, not critical.

5️⃣ Make Adjustments
Update your budget if needed, pay upcoming bills, and plan for next month’s priorities.

6️⃣ Dream Ahead
Set one small, doable financial goal for the month — like saving $50, paying off a little debt, or cutting back on a subscription you don’t use.

7️⃣ Celebrate!
End on a positive note: do something relaxing or fun afterward to reward yourself for showing up.

@thedealtrader on X

❤️ A Love Note to Your Future Self

A money date is more than a budgeting session — it’s a commitment to care for your future self. It says: I love myself enough to be present with my finances today, so I can feel safe, empowered, and at peace tomorrow.

Try scheduling your first money date this week. You might be surprised how much lighter you feel afterward.

📌 Have you ever had a money date? Would you try one now? Share your thoughts in the comments — I’d love to hear how you’re bringing financial intimacy into your self-care routine.

10 Smart Holiday Money-Saving Tips for Women: Enjoy the Season Without Overspending

How to Navigate the Holidays Without Overspending: Personal Finance Tips for Women

The holiday season is a time of joy, celebration, and connection. But it can also put a lot of pressure on our wallets which ultimately leads to stress. If you are reading this post, that means you are a woman who has zero interest in being stressed out, especially around money.

I am a big believer in abundance but the holidays is typically when it is the easiest for us to fall right of our abundance mindset.

Between gifts, decorations, festive outings, and holiday meals, the expenses can quickly add up, leaving us with a financial hangover come January.

For women aiming to prioritize both financial security and holiday joy, there are smart, practical ways to enjoy the season without emptying your bank account.

Related Reading: 8 simple holiday self care habits for less stress and more bliss

Here’s how to make the most of the holidays without overspending:

1. Set a Holiday Budget—and Stick to It

Start by assessing what you can realistically spend during the holidays. Break down this budget into categories, like gifts, entertainment, travel, and decorations, and allocate specific amounts to each. Keeping track of spending within each category helps ensure that you don't exceed your limits.

Pro Tip: Set your budget by looking at your typical monthly expenses and determining how much extra you can comfortably spend. Avoid using credit to cover costs that exceed your budget.

2. Prioritize Quality over Quantity in Gift-Giving

It can be tempting to shower loved ones with gifts, but thoughtful and meaningful presents can often be more appreciated than expensive ones. Instead of focusing on the price tag, consider what would truly bring joy to each person on your list.

You could even try gifting experiences—like a coffee date, a museum visit, or a home-cooked dinner—which can be more affordable and memorable.

Pro Tip: Consider making a list of recipients and jotting down a single thoughtful gift idea for each person. It can help prevent last-minute impulse buys.

Making lists is one of my secret weapons for staying mindful and stress free.

3. Start Early and Look for Deals

Getting a jumpstart on holiday shopping can help you take advantage of sales and avoid last-minute splurges. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and other seasonal sales offer great opportunities to save. Be sure to check out all of my affordable gift guides.

Pro Tip: Subscribe to newsletters from your favorite stores for exclusive discounts and keep an eye out for holiday deals. Many stores also offer price matching, so check with customer service if you find a better deal elsewhere.

4. Use Cash or a Debit Card

It’s easy to lose track of spending when using credit, and holiday shopping can lead to higher-than-normal credit card bills. Try using cash or a debit card to help you stay mindful of your budget. When you see the funds dwindling, it’s a visible reminder of your spending limit.

Pro Tip: If you do use a credit card for points or rewards, be diligent about paying off the balance before interest accrues.

5. Host Potluck-Style Gatherings

If you’re hosting holiday events or dinners, like Friendsgiving, consider making them potluck-style. Asking each guest to bring a dish not only cuts down on your food expenses but also allows everyone to share their favorite recipes. It creates a community vibe and takes some of the pressure off of you as the host.

Pro Tip: Create a theme for your potluck and suggest easy, affordable dishes that people can contribute. This way, you’ll ensure there’s variety without overspending on elaborate menus.

6. Plan Festive Outings on a Budget

Celebrating the holidays doesn't have to mean splurging on pricey events. Look for free or low-cost activities in your area, like Christmas light displays, holiday parades, or community tree lightings.

Simple traditions like movie marathons, cookie decorating, or crafting can also be inexpensive ways to celebrate at home.

Pro Tip: Check out local community websites or apps to find free or affordable holiday events. You’ll be surprised at how many great options there are!

7. Shop Secondhand for DIY Decorations and Wrapping Supplies

Thrift stores can be a treasure trove for holiday decorations and wrapping supplies at a fraction of the cost.

You can find unique, vintage items that add character to your holiday setup. Repurposing or DIY-ing decorations also gives you an opportunity to add a personal touch.

Pro Tip: If you enjoy crafting, consider making your own decorations (like a DIY wreath) or wrapping paper. This not only saves money but also creates beautiful, one-of-a-kind items.

8. Practice Self-Care to Manage Holiday Stress

Holidays can be overwhelming, and stress often leads to impulse spending. When we’re feeling tired or overextended, it’s easy to buy something just for a quick pick-me-up.

Prioritizing self-care—whether it’s taking time to relax, practicing gratitude, or even a few minutes of daily meditation—can help you make more intentional spending choices.

It’s also important to be mindful of the tendency to people please around the holiday, self prioritization is key for maintaining your sanity and energy.

Pro Tip: Schedule “me time” in the midst of holiday preparations. Taking care of your well-being can prevent impulse purchases that happen when stress is high.

9. Focus on Making Memories, Not Material Gifts

Sometimes, the best parts of the holiday season are the memories we create with loved ones. Shift the focus from material gifts to shared experiences. Activities like baking together, going on a holiday hike, or creating photo albums make lasting memories and cost very little.

Pro Tip: If your family is open to it, propose a “no-gift” holiday or a secret Santa to keep the gift-giving affordable and more meaningful.

10. Track Your Spending in Real Time

During the holidays, track each purchase to stay aware of your spending. There are apps and budgeting tools that can help you stay on top of your expenses, making it easier to avoid surprises. By keeping a close eye on what you’re spending, you can make quick adjustments if needed.

Pro Tip: Even a simple spreadsheet on your phone can serve as an effective tool to track purchases and keep you accountable to your budget.

Final Thoughts

The holiday season doesn’t have to derail your financial goals. With thoughtful planning, prioritization, and creativity, you can enjoy the festivities while staying financially sound.

By focusing on meaningful moments and managing your budget carefully, you’ll enter the new year with both happy memories and a healthy bank account. Happy holidays!

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