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ASHLINA KAPOSTA

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My 15 Favorite Spiritual Awakening Books for Women Who Are Evolving

ashlina kaposta August 26, 2026

Looking to get closer to God, your soul, and your divine feminine? Here are my personal top 15 spiritual books — the ones that actually changed me, not just a list I pulled from somewhere else.

If you're here, I have a feeling you already know why you clicked on this post.

Maybe you've felt a pull lately — toward God, toward your soul, toward something bigger than the noise of your everyday life. Maybe you've been feeling a little disconnected from your divine feminine, from your intuition, from the parts of yourself that know things your logical mind can't explain. Maybe you're just evolving, and you can feel it, even if you can't fully explain it yet.

I've been there. And honestly, I'm still there — because I don't think this kind of growth ever really finishes.

How to have a spiritual awakening?

Start reading.

These are my personal top 15 picks. I didn't pull this list from someone else's "best of" roundup. Every book here either cracked something open in me, brought me closer to God, or helped me finally understand a piece of my soul I hadn't been able to name before. A few are books I'm still working my way through myself, and I've been honest about which ones those are — because I want this list to feel real, not performative.

If you're ready to get closer to God, get closer to your own alignment, and come home to yourself, consider this your reading list.

Start Here: My Top 5 Picks

If you only read five books from this entire post, start here. These are the foundational ones — the books I'd hand to a friend who told me she was just starting to wake up spiritually and didn't know where to begin.

you can heal your life louise hay

buy here

1. You Can Heal Your Life — Louise Hay

This is genuinely one of the first books I think anyone should read on this path, and it's why I'm putting it at the very top of this list. Louise Hay lays the groundwork for everything else — the idea that our thoughts, our self-talk, and our beliefs about ourselves are directly tied to how we heal, how we love, and how we live. It's simple, but it's foundational in the truest sense of the word. Once this one clicks, everything else on this list makes more sense.

What made this one stick for me is how unflinching it is. Hay doesn't dance around the connection between the stories we tell ourselves and the lives we actually end up living — she just lays it out, plainly, and asks you to look at it. I remember putting the book down at one point and just sitting with how much of my own self-talk I'd never actually questioned before. It's the kind of book that quietly rearranges the furniture in your mind.

What this book teaches you:

  • How your inner dialogue directly shapes your outer reality

  • Practical affirmations you can start using immediately, not just theory

  • How to trace physical and emotional patterns back to old, unexamined beliefs

buy here

2. The Power of Now — Eckhart Tolle

This book changed how I see myself. Tolle taught me that I am not my mind — that there's a "me" underneath all the thinking, and learning to separate the two was the beginning of everything else on this list. It's the book I recommend most often, and for good reason.

I think what makes this one so different from other spiritual books is that it doesn't ask you to believe anything. It just asks you to notice. The first time I actually caught myself mid-thought-spiral and realized, oh, I am the one watching this thought, not the thought itself — that was it for me. That was the shift. It sounds so simple written out like that, but living it is a completely different experience, and Tolle walks you through it patiently, page by page.

What this book teaches you:

  • How to separate your true self from the constant chatter of your mind

  • Why the present moment is the only place peace actually exists

  • Practical ways to interrupt anxious or repetitive thinking in real time

buy here

3. A New Earth — Eckhart Tolle

The follow-up to The Power of Now, and honestly just as important. This one goes deeper into the ego — how much of our suffering is really our ego running the show — and it challenged how I understood spirituality itself, not just my own mind. I'd read these two back to back if you can.

If The Power of Now is about the present moment, this one is about the mask we wear through it — the identity we've built to protect ourselves, and how much of our daily friction with other people actually comes from ego clashing with ego. Reading this made me start noticing my own defensiveness in a totally new light. I'd catch myself getting reactive over something small and think, wait, is this actually me, or is this my ego protecting something?

What this book teaches you:

  • How to recognize your ego at work in everyday reactions and conflicts

  • Why letting go of who you "think" you are opens the door to who you actually are

  • How collective ego shows up in relationships, work, and even how we talk about ourselves

buy now

4. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success — Deepak Chopra

This is one of the books I come back to as a foundation. It reshaped my basic mindset around living, soulfulness, and mindfulness in a way that's stuck with me ever since — not just spiritually, but in how I actually move through daily life. Don't let the word "success" in the title fool you; this is a soul book.

What I love about this one is how tidy it is — seven principles, laid out clearly, that you can actually hold onto and come back to when life feels chaotic. It's the kind of book you can reread in an afternoon and still walk away with something new every single time, which is rare. I've gifted this one more than almost any other book on this list, honestly, because it feels like such a gentle, accessible on-ramp into deeper spiritual thinking.

What this book teaches you:

  • Seven core principles for living in alignment rather than in resistance

  • How detachment from outcomes can actually bring you closer to what you want

  • Why "success" from a spiritual lens looks nothing like the version we're taught

The four agreements book

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5. The Four Agreements — Don Miguel Ruiz

Simple on the surface, profound underneath. This one's less about big spiritual concepts and more about how to actually live — four principles that quietly rewire how you treat yourself and everyone around you. Short, but it will stay with you.

This is the book I hand to people who tell me they don't really "do" spiritual books. It's grounded in ancient Toltec wisdom, but it reads almost like a practical manual for how to stop taking everything so personally, how to stop assuming, and how to actually mean what you say. It's short enough to finish in a weekend, but the agreements themselves are the kind of thing you'll find yourself thinking about years later, in the middle of an argument or a hard moment.

What this book teaches you:

  • Why taking things personally is almost always about you, not the other person

  • How to stop making assumptions that quietly damage your relationships

  • Four simple, repeatable practices for showing up with more integrity

Deepening the Connection: Manifestation & Divine Support {#deepening}

Once the foundation is there, these are the books that helped me understand my own power alongside my faith — that manifestation and trusting God aren't opposites, they actually work together.

buy here

6. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself — Dr. Joe Dispenza

This one completely changed how I think about manifestation and our own power. Dispenza breaks down, almost scientifically, how we get stuck being who we've always been — and what it actually takes to become someone new. It rewired something in me.

This is the book for anyone who wants the science alongside the spirituality. Dispenza walks through the actual neuroscience of habit and identity, and once you understand why you keep repeating the same patterns, it becomes so much easier to interrupt them. I found myself highlighting almost every other page, which almost never happens for me. It's dense in places, but it's worth taking slow.

What this book teaches you:

  • The neuroscience behind why we stay stuck in old patterns and identities

  • How your body can be "addicted" to familiar emotions, even negative ones

  • Practical meditative techniques for rewiring your brain toward a new identity

buy here

7. Divine Breadcrumbs — Rachael Jayne Groover

This book taught me so much about listening to God and trusting the path He's laying out, even when it doesn't make sense yet. I think this one is especially important for women — it gave me language for something I'd felt but never quite named, about following the small signs instead of forcing a strategic plan.

What I love about this one is how much permission it gives you to not have it all figured out. I've spent so much of my life trying to plan five steps ahead, and this book gently made the case that maybe I only need to see the very next breadcrumb, not the whole trail. It felt like being given permission to trust myself and trust God at the same time, instead of choosing between the two.

What this book teaches you:

  • How to recognize the small, quiet nudges God places in front of you

  • Why you don't need the whole plan — just the next right step

  • How to trust your intuition as a form of divine communication, especially as a woman

buy here

8. Allowing Divine Intervention — Richard Dotts

This book helped my mindset so much around allowing God to intervene — really knowing, in my bones, that I'm supported by the universe and by the divine, not just hoping I am. It's a quiet shift, but it changes how you move through hard moments.

There's something so relieving about this book, honestly. So much of the manifestation world can feel like a lot of doing — vision boards, affirmations, constant effort — and this one flips that on its head. It's about learning to actually let go and let something bigger step in. I read this during a season when I was gripping everything way too tightly, and it loosened something in me that I didn't even realize was clenched.

What this book teaches you:

  • How to release control without giving up on what you want

  • Why "allowing" is its own spiritual practice, not passivity

  • Practical ways to actually feel supported by the universe, not just say you are

leveraging the universe mike dooley

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9. Leveraging the Universe — Mike Dooley

Dooley has a way of making the universe feel like a partner instead of a mystery. This book gave me practical, real steps for actually working with that support instead of just wishing for it — less "woo," more "here's what to actually do."

I appreciate how straightforward Dooley's voice is — he doesn't over-mystify any of this. He treats the universe almost like a business partner you need to actually communicate clearly with, and that reframing made manifestation feel a lot less like wishful thinking and a lot more like a relationship I could actually build and maintain.

What this book teaches you:

  • How to communicate more clearly with the universe about what you actually want

  • Why vague wishing rarely works, and specificity does

  • A practical framework for partnering with the universe instead of just hoping at it

Getting Closer to God & the Divine Feminine {#god-feminine}

These are the books that pulled me closest to God and helped me reconnect with the divine feminine within myself — the part of me that had gotten quiet over the years without me even noticing.

spirit junkie book

buy here

10. Spirit Junkie — Gabrielle Bernstein

I really, really loved this one. Bernstein is so honest about her own journey out of fear and into faith, and reading her story made my own feel less isolating. This is a great one if you're craving a more relatable, modern voice on this path.

Bernstein doesn't write from some untouchable, enlightened place — she writes from the mess, from the addiction and the anxiety and the fear that came before the faith. That honesty is what makes this book land so differently than a lot of the more traditional spiritual texts. It felt like she was talking directly to me, not down to me, and that's rare.

What this book teaches you:

  • How to move from a fear-based mindset to a faith-based one, step by step

  • Why your lowest moments can become the doorway into real spiritual growth

  • Practical tools rooted in A Course in Miracles, but explained in a modern, relatable voice

buy here

11. Return to Love — Marianne Williamson

Williamson is such a good author, and this book really teaches you how to connect with spirit in a way that feels grounded, not abstract. It's rooted in A Course in Miracles but stands beautifully on its own if you're not ready to dive into the source text yet.

This was one of the books that made me feel like faith and intellect weren't opposites — Williamson writes with so much clarity and conviction that it never feels flimsy or vague. There's a section on fear versus love that I still think about regularly, honestly, whenever I catch myself reacting from a scared place instead of a loving one.

What this book teaches you:

  • The core distinction between choosing fear and choosing love, in any moment

  • How to apply A Course in Miracles principles without feeling overwhelmed by the source text

  • Why forgiveness is less about the other person and more about your own freedom

buy here

12. A Course in Miracles

This one is a commitment, but it's such a good book to return to again and again. It teaches you about God, the Holy Spirit, forgiveness, and the nature of love in a way that goes deeper the more you sit with it. This isn't a one-and-done read — it's more of a practice.

I'll be honest, this isn't a book you casually read on a beach vacation — it's a workbook, a daily practice, a real spiritual commitment. But that's exactly what makes it different from everything else on this list. It's not asking you to just understand something intellectually; it's asking you to actually practice it, day by day, until it becomes how you see the world.

What this book teaches you:

  • A daily practice for shifting your perception from fear to love

  • A deep theological framework around forgiveness and the nature of God

  • Why this is a lifelong practice, not a book you simply "finish"

buy here

13. Awakening Your Inner Light — Aeoliah

This was a book that really, really changed my life. It's about reclaiming your true identity and healing the parts of yourself that have been dimmed by self-doubt or self-abuse over the years. If you feel like you've lost touch with your own light, this one will help you find it again.

There's a tenderness to this book that I haven't found many other places on this list. It doesn't rush you toward healing — it meets you exactly where the dimming happened, and walks you back toward yourself slowly. I remember reading certain passages and just crying, not out of sadness exactly, but out of recognition, like something in me was finally being seen.

What this book teaches you:

  • How to identify the ways you've dimmed your own light to feel safe or accepted

  • Gentle practices for reclaiming your true identity, piece by piece

  • Why healing self-abuse is often the missing step before deeper spiritual growth

the untethered soul book

buy hereamzn.to/3UlK2VR

14. The Untethered Soul — Michael A. Singer

This is the one that comes up in almost every spiritual conversation I have. It’s about learning the art of surrender and truly giving it all up to a divine power.

It picks up a lot of the same thread as The Power of Now — learning to observe the voice in your head instead of being run by it — but takes it even further into daily practice.

What this book teaches you :

  • How to observe your inner voice instead of being controlled by it

  • Practical techniques for releasing old emotional energy that's stuck in the body

  • A path toward inner freedom that doesn't depend on your outer circumstances

buy here

15. Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe — Laura Lynne Jackson

This book helps you learn how to actually see the signs — the breadcrumbs the divine is leaving for you all the time, if you know how to look. It's a beautiful guide for spiritual awakening and for learning how to listen to and communicate with your higher self. It genuinely shifted how present I am to the small moments now, and how much less alone I feel in the day-to-day.

What I love most about this one is how ordinary the signs actually are once you start paying attention — a song, a number, a stranger's comment that lands a little too perfectly. Jackson makes the case that the divine isn't speaking in some far-off, dramatic language; it's speaking in the small, everyday details we usually rush right past. Reading this genuinely slowed me down.

What this book teaches you:

  • How to recognize signs and synchronicities in your everyday life

  • Why slowing down is often the missing piece of spiritual communication

  • How to open a real, ongoing dialogue with your higher self

How to Use This List {#how-to-use}

You don't have to read all 15 in order, but if you want a place to start:

  • Brand new to this journey? Start with #1, #2, and #5.

  • Craving a closer relationship with God specifically? #7, #10, #11, #12.

  • Want to understand your own power alongside your faith? #6, #8, #9.

  • Feeling disconnected from yourself lately? #13.

This list is going to keep growing as I keep evolving — that's kind of the whole point. Bookmark this one, because I'll be adding to it.

What book changed your relationship with God or your own soul? Tell me in the comments — I read every single one, and I'm always looking for my next read too.

Download my FREE Manifestation Mindset Makeover workbook here.

you may also like:

💛 12 best manifestation books of all time

💛 How to build an abundance mindset

💛 5 unusual signs you have quantum leaped into your manifestation

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How to Make Your Energy Expensive: 7 Ways to Practice the Joy of Missing Out {podcast ep. 395}

ashlina kaposta August 10, 2026

Lately, I’ve been spending more time in solitude, romanticising my daily pleasures so that I can more clearly from God. As a woman who knows just how important it is to be living in alignment with your purpose, I was guided to talk a bit about what that actually looks like for the modern day woman.

Listen to the full podcast episode here:

For years, culture told us that being "in demand" meant saying yes to everything. Answering every text immediately. Showing up to every event. Chasing every opportunity before someone else could take it. Staying visible, available, and in the loop — because missing out felt like losing.

But somewhere along the way, a lot of us got tired. Not tired from doing too little — tired from doing too much of what never actually mattered to us in the first place.

That's where this idea comes in: making your energy expensive.

Expensive energy doesn't mean you're unavailable, cold, or hard to reach. It means you've stopped handing yourself out simply because something — or someone — is available to you. It means your time, attention, and presence have a price, and that price is discernment.

This is the foundation of JOMO: the Joy of Missing Out.

FOMO vs. JOMO: A Complete Mindset Shift

For most of our lives, we've been fluent in one language: FOMO, the fear of missing out. It sounds like:

  • What if I miss something?

  • What if everyone else is having more fun, making more money, moving faster than me?

  • What if I say no and the opportunity never comes back around?

FOMO keeps you reactive. It keeps you scrolling, comparing, saying yes before you've even checked in with yourself. It's exhausting because it's built on scarcity — the belief that there isn't enough opportunity, enough time, enough love, enough abundance to go around, so you'd better grab everything you can, just in case.

JOMO asks a completely different question:

  • What if I don't need everything?

That single reframe changes everything. JOMO isn't about isolation or withdrawing from life. It's not about missing out on purpose to prove a point. It's about recognizing that your energy is finite, valuable, and worthy of protection — and that saying no to the wrong things is what makes room for the right ones.

When you stop giving your energy away simply because it's requested, expected, or convenient for someone else, your energy becomes expensive. Not unattainable. Not guarded out of fear. Expensive in the way anything valuable is expensive — because it's limited, intentional, and reserved for what actually deserves it. It’s definitely a feminine energy mindset practice.

Here's why this matters more right now than it ever has before.

We are living in the most connected, most "available" era in human history. Every notification, every open tab, every group chat is a small request for a piece of you. Individually, none of them seem like much. Collectively, they add up to a life spent responding instead of choosing — reacting to what's in front of you instead of building the thing you actually want.

Expensive energy is the correction. It's not a trend, and it's not a phase of coldness before you go back to old habits. It's a permanent recalibration of how you decide what deserves you.

7 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR ENERGY

1. Stop Saying Yes Out of Fear

Most of the yeses we regret weren't really yeses at all. They were fear wearing the costume of opportunity.

Underneath a fear-based yes, you'll usually find one of these:

  • Fear of missing an opportunity that might not come again

  • Fear of being left out of something everyone else is part of

  • Fear of falling behind people you're quietly comparing yourself to

  • Fear that if you don't take it, someone else will get what you secretly wanted

None of these are really about the opportunity itself. They're about a story running underneath it — a story that says if you don't grab this right now, you'll lose your place in line for your own life.

The problem is that a fear-based yes rarely feels good even when it works out. You get the job, the invite, the relationship, the deal — and instead of relief, you feel depleted. That's the tell. A genuine yes energizes you, even when it's hard. A fear-based yes just quiets the anxiety for a moment before the resentment sets in.

Practice: Before you say yes to anything, pause and ask yourself:

Would I still want this if nobody else knew I was doing it?

Strip away the audience. Strip away the fear of being left out. Strip away the comparison. If what's left is still a genuine want, that's a real yes. If what's left is silence, or relief at the idea of not doing it, that's your answer too.

This single question filters out an enormous amount of noise. It won't make every decision easy, but it will make most of them honest.

2. Stop Chasing What Doesn't Feel Aligned

Not everything that looks good is good for you. This is one of the hardest lessons to actually live by, because so much of what we chase is objectively impressive.

It could be:

  • The opportunity that looks incredible on paper but drains you every time you think about it

  • The relationship that photographs well but leaves you smaller in real life

  • The trend everyone's doing that has nothing to do with who you actually are

  • The business strategy that's working for someone else but fights against your natural rhythm

  • The lifestyle that looks aspirational from the outside but would cost you your peace on the inside

Alignment doesn't always look exciting from the outside. Sometimes the aligned choice is the quiet one, the slower one, the one that doesn't get any applause. And misalignment doesn't always look bad — sometimes it looks like the best offer you've ever received, timed perfectly to test whether you actually trust yourself.

Practice: Learn to tell the difference between "I want this" and "I think I should want this."

"I should want this" is usually inherited — from culture, from comparison, from an old version of you that needed external proof of worth. "I want this" comes from somewhere quieter and more stable. It doesn't need to be justified to anyone.

This is where intuitive living becomes essential. Intuition doesn't shout. It doesn't compete with fear, hype, or urgency — which means if you're only listening to the loudest voice in the room, you'll miss it every time. Slowing down enough to hear the difference is, in itself, an act of making your energy expensive.

3. Protect Your Attention

Your attention is one of the most valuable forms of currency you have — arguably more valuable than your money, because you can always make more money, but you cannot get back the hours, days, and years you spend absorbed in things that don't matter.

And yet most of us spend our attention the way we'd never spend our money: carelessly, automatically, without ever checking the receipt.

Making your energy expensive means becoming ruthless — kindly ruthless — about where your attention goes.

  • Stop consuming everything just because it's in front of you.

  • Stop checking everyone's lives like it's your job to stay updated on people who don't actually add to yours.

  • Stop comparing timelines, as if there's one universal schedule everyone is supposed to be following.

  • Stop letting other people's priorities silently become your own, just because they were louder about theirs.

Every time you open an app, agree to a conversation, or let your mind circle back to something that doesn't serve you, you're making a withdrawal. Multiply that by a day, a week, a year, and it's not hard to see why so many capable, intelligent women feel like they have nothing left by the end of the day — not because they aren't doing enough, but because their attention has been leaking out in a hundred directions they never consciously chose.

Practice: Be intentional about what you allow into your mental and emotional space. Before you consume something, ask what it's costing you, not just what it's offering you.

Your attention is an investment. Spend it accordingly.

4. Let Yourself Be Unavailable

Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the belief that being a good, kind, reliable person means being infinitely accessible. That any hesitation, delay, or boundary is a character flaw.

It isn't. You don't have to be accessible to everyone, all the time — and the people who genuinely respect you were never asking you to be.

Unavailability, practiced with grace, looks like:

  • Not answering immediately, just because you technically could

  • Not attending everything you're invited to, even things that would be "fine"

  • Not explaining every no in painstaking detail, as if your boundary needs a legal defense

  • Not participating in every conversation, debate, or group chat simply because you were included

The instinct to over-explain a no usually comes from the same fear that drives a fear-based yes — the fear that if you don't justify yourself, you'll be seen as difficult, cold, or ungrateful. But a boundary that requires a full explanation to be valid isn't really a boundary. It's a negotiation.

Practice: Create more space between the invitation and your answer. You don't owe anyone an instant response. A pause is not rudeness — it's respect for yourself.

You are allowed to pause. You are allowed to sit with a request before you decide what it deserves from you.

5. Stop Performing Your Life

This might be the practice that hits closest to home, because it's the one most quietly reinforced by the world we live in.

So much of modern life has become a performance of a life, rather than the actual living of one. And the pressure isn't always to lie — it's to constantly prove, in real time, that you're:

  • Successful

  • Happy

  • Busy

  • Desirable

  • Interesting

  • Productive

  • Living your best life

When you're performing, even good moments get filtered through the question: how will this look? That question quietly hijacks decisions that should be yours alone. You don't take the trip because you want the trip — you take it because you want to be seen taking it. You don't pursue the relationship because it feels right — you pursue it because it looks right.

Expensive energy doesn't perform, because performance is, by definition, giving your energy to an audience rather than reserving it for yourself.

Practice: Do things because you love them — not because they photograph well or validate your identity. Ask yourself honestly, for the things you're currently chasing: would I still want this if I could never post about it, mention it, or tell anyone?

A beautiful life doesn't need an audience. The version of your life that's actually worth living is usually the one nobody sees the best parts of — because you were too present living them to document them.

6. Trust That There Is Enough

Underneath almost every fear-based yes, every chase, every bit of performed success, there's a single quiet belief driving the whole thing: there isn't enough, so I have to grab what I can, while I can.

Scarcity has a voice, and it's convincing. It says:

"I have to grab this now. If I don't, it's gone."

Trust says something different:

"What's meant for me will not require me to abandon myself."

This is a deeply spiritual shift as much as a practical one. You don't need every opportunity that crosses your path. You don't need to compete with every other woman for a seat that was never yours to fight for. You don't need to chase every open door just because it happened to be open.

Some doors are open because they're meant for you. Others are open simply because they were left unlocked — and walking through them anyway, out of fear that this is your only shot, is how so many of us end up somewhere that was never actually ours.

Trust doesn't mean passivity. It doesn't mean sitting back and hoping things land in your lap. It means releasing the frantic energy of now or never, and replacing it with the steadier energy of right things, right timing.

Practice: When something doesn't feel right, let it pass without assuming you've missed your chance. What's actually meant for you was never going to require you to override your own knowing to get it.

7. Choose Your Life

Everything before this practice has been about subtraction — saying no, protecting attention, releasing fear, letting go of performance. This last one is where it all comes together, because the ultimate goal of JOMO was never really about missing out at all.

It's about choosing in.

Choosing:

  • Your priorities

  • Your values

  • Your season

  • Your relationships

  • Your work

  • Your home

  • Your peace

  • Your vision

Every no you practice in the six steps before this one exists to protect your capacity to say a full, wholehearted yes to the life that's actually yours. JOMO isn't the art of missing out on life. It's the art of stopping the habit of missing your own life because you were too busy watching, comparing, and reacting to everyone else's.

Practice: Ask yourself —

What would I choose if I stopped worrying about what everyone else was choosing?

Sit with that question honestly, without immediately jumping to justify or explain the answer to anyone. Because the goal was never to miss out on life. The goal is to stop missing your own life because you're so busy watching everyone else live theirs.

The Expensive Energy Checklist

Save this. Screenshot it. Keep it somewhere you'll actually see it before your next big (or small) decision.

Before you say yes, ask:

  • ☐ Do I actually want this?

  • ☐ Am I choosing this from desire or fear?

  • ☐ Does this support the life I'm building?

  • ☐ Does this require me to abandon myself?

  • ☐ Would I choose this if nobody else knew about it?

If it isn't a hell yes, you're allowed to let it pass.

Frequently Asked Questions About JOMO and Expensive Energy

What does "making your energy expensive" actually mean?

It means you no longer give your time, attention, and presence to people or opportunities simply because they're available to you. Instead, you choose what gets access to you based on alignment, not fear, urgency, or obligation. It's not about becoming unavailable — it's about becoming intentional.

Is JOMO the opposite of FOMO?

Yes, in the sense that FOMO is driven by fear and scarcity — the worry that you'll lose out if you don't say yes to everything — while JOMO is driven by trust and sufficiency, the belief that you don't need everything in order to be okay. But JOMO isn't simply "doing nothing." It's choosing what you actually want, on purpose, instead of reacting to what's in front of you.

Doesn't practicing JOMO mean missing real opportunities?

Not the ones meant for you. The practice isn't about rejecting everything — it's about slowing down enough to tell the difference between a genuine opportunity and a fear-based impulse. Opportunities that are truly aligned with your path tend not to require you to abandon your peace, values, or intuition to take them.

How do I stop feeling guilty about saying no?

Guilt around saying no is often inherited from a belief that your worth is tied to your availability. Practicing small, low-stakes "no's" builds the muscle. Over time, you'll notice that the people who matter respect your boundaries, and the discomfort of disappointing others gets easier to sit with than the exhaustion of constantly saying yes.

How is this different from just being lazy or checked out?

JOMO is not about disengaging from life — it's about engaging more deeply with less. A person practicing expensive energy is often more present, more focused, and more fulfilled in the things they do choose, precisely because they aren't spread across a hundred obligations that never mattered to them.

Can I practice this and still be ambitious?

Absolutely. Expensive energy isn't anti-ambition — it's anti-scattered. Protecting your attention and choosing aligned opportunities over every available one actually creates more capacity to pursue big goals, because you're not depleting yourself on things that don't move you closer to the life you want.

Where do I start if this feels overwhelming?

Start with the Expensive Energy Checklist above and apply it to just one decision this week — something small, like an invitation or a request on your time. Notice how it feels to pause before answering. That single pause is the entire practice in miniature.

How long does it take to actually feel the shift?

Most people notice a difference within a few weeks of consistent practice — not because the outer circumstances change immediately, but because the internal relationship with decision-making changes first. You start to feel steadier before you say yes, and lighter after you say no. The outer results — more aligned relationships, more focused work, more genuine rest — tend to follow once the internal pattern is established.

What if the people around me don't understand this shift?

Not everyone will, and that's expected. People who benefited from your unlimited availability may initially push back when you start protecting your energy. This isn't a sign you're doing it wrong — it's often a sign you're doing it right. The relationships and opportunities that are actually meant for this season of your life will adjust and often deepen. The ones that only worked because you never said no were likely costing you more than you realized.

Making Your Energy Expensive Isn't About Becoming Cold

It's easy to hear a practice like this and assume it means becoming distant, unavailable, or hard to reach. It doesn't.

Making your energy expensive isn't about becoming cold, unavailable, or difficult to access. It's about becoming a woman who knows her energy has value.

You stop giving your attention to everything. You stop saying yes to everything. You stop chasing everything. You stop comparing yourself to everyone.

And in the space that opens up, you start becoming deeply intentional about what gets your time, your attention, your presence, and your heart.

Because maybe you're not missing out.

Maybe you're finally choosing your life.

You may also like:

🌹 How to finally become a securely attached woman

🌹 How to balance your masculine & feminine energy

🌹 12 feminine energy books every woman should read

🌹How to reconnect with your feminine energy and find yourself again

Please feel free to email me at ashlina@thedecorista.com if you have any questions!  I’m always happy to help with decorating, life advice or even picking out a specific perfume!  Have an amazing day!!

Also, check out my Amazon shop HERE to shop all my favorite things, tips and tricks. You can also download the free LIKETOKNOW.IT app and follow me HERE.

STAY IN THE KNOW:  Don’t forget to sign up for my exclusive Love Letters for STYLE TIPS, LIFE ADVICE, COSMIC TEA, AND MUCH MORE!

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ASHLINA KAPOSTA

… A creative, work from home, mom-entrepreneur who is passionate about all things blissful living. Here you’ll find musings on decorating, slow living, self-development, health & wellness, manifestation, femininity, mindset & entrepreneurship.

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